How Does A Female Orgasm *Really* Feel?
“It’s like my body wants to burst, but in the positive way. Afterwards, I’m left with such a tingling sensation and my body feels relaxed and relieved.”
Orgasm is the goal of the sexual encounter, but what does it really feel like for a woman? Are there differences between vaginal and clitoral or is every climax the same?
When you watch porn and look at the faces of female performers, you get some interesting input. They contort their face, mouth wide open backwards, bright squeals, moans, it almost looks like the woman in question is having a pain attack and not a moment of supreme pleasure.
If you really want to understand the female orgasm, forget porn. What you see there almost never corresponds to reality. Just like the screams of fear in horror movies, so are the screams of pleasure in porn. But how does it feel now when it is real?
Every woman is different here, and it should also be remembered that only about 27 percent of women climax every time they have sex.
Every orgasm is different – there are good and bad climaxes
How intense and strong a climax turns out is always different. Some women report that vaginal orgasms are more intense than clitoral orgasms, while others can only come at all through clitoral stimulation.
Katie Lasson is a sexologist and relationship counselor at Birkbeck University.
Of her own orgasms, she says, “For me, orgasm is the pinnacle of erotic tension, the most powerful sensation my body knows.” She smiles, then adds further, “It’s like my body wants to burst, but in the positive way. Afterwards, I’m left with such a tingling sensation and my body feels relaxed and relieved.”
Female orgasms reportedly seem definitely more varied; they’re unrecognizable to the outsider, can come quietly and silently, but also loudly and violently.
“A bit like when you finally pee”.
Especially when it comes to G-spot stimulation, the sensation is often compared to the feeling when urinating.
For example, that young woman who wishes to remain anonymous candidly reports, “The orgasm is sometimes like this and sometimes like that. Sometimes it’s like I’ve been suppressing peeing for hours and then there’s finally a toilet. Pure relief.”
Other orgasms, on the other hand, the very intense ones, she describes much more drastically: “My vagina explodes, sweat runs, waves rush over my body and sometimes I even have to cry when such an intense climax catches me.”
These are those orgasms that probably only occur when everything is just right. More often, it can happen when you haven’t had sex in a long time before and haven’t come, and then suddenly you finally get released.
The first time is strange and not always nice
Especially the first orgasm is memorable for most women and not always it is really good. It’s astonishing that around 70 percent of women between the ages of 45 and 59 believe that women have already faked an orgasm once. When the first real one comes, the partner often doesn’t even notice.
If you are a woman who has never climaxed, the first one might be strange for you. Suddenly it feels different than usual, but you are far from sure whether it was really an orgasm. The good news is that the more often you experience a climax, the more pleasant it becomes.
And if you want to see for yourself how you respond to stimulation, there are plenty of sex toys you can try out for yourself. For clitoral orgasms, toys like the Womanizer are excellent, and if you’re looking for pleasure in the G-spot area, the G-spot vibrator is a real highlight.
Orgasms can also be achieved by females alone
Orgasm does not have to be achieved together with a partner, as a woman you have excellent ways to stimulate yourself to all. These include:
- Stimulations with the vibrator
- Masturbation with your fingers and lube
- Lay-on vibrators for clitoral pleasure
Especially if you want to experience what you really like, masturbation is a great option. Even if you haven’t managed to climax yet, you can help yourself wonderfully this way.
Even with masturbation, it’s not always the same feeling that awaits you.
Cerridwen Fallingstar shares her own experiences, “Orgasms can feel so different. Sometimes I feel like I’m dancing, other times a tsunami rushes through me. The variety is why I love to work sex into my books, highlighting female pleasure.”
When orgasm won’t come
You’ve never climaxed and none of your partners have ever managed to turn you into a moaning bundle of pleasure? You’re not alone in this, as the above survey has already proven to you. In order to climax, several factors must come together. These include:
- You really need to be completely relaxed
- Your head must be free of negative thoughts
- You stimulate yourself the way you like it.
- You simply enjoy and do not only think about the orgasm.
- You do not put yourself under pressure
Everywhere you hear about it and read about it, the orgasm. You see the distorted faces of the women in the movies, writhing as if they were not of this world. And nothing happens with you. Pressure is one of the biggest problems that many women create for themselves. According to the motto “It just has to happen”, sexual stimulation is only seen as a necessary evil to finally reach the goal.
This is the biggest mistake you can make. The more you free yourself from pressure and thoughts, the better it works with the climax. And if it doesn’t work out once, that’s no reason for sadness. The way is already the goal, the gentle stimulation of your vulva, your vagina and your erogenous zones is already pleasure in itself and does not necessarily have to culminate in a climax.
Here’s how you can promote your orgasm
You want to come more often, come in more ways and not always have to wait for it? Then be willing to experiment, open yourself up to new stimulation methods so that your pleasure can spread. What you really like in the end, only you can know. But if the conditions are right, you can bring about a lot of pleasure for yourself with the following tools.
Use sex toys for stimulation
They are as diverse as you are, and for many women they are simply part of the package. According to this survey, the average woman owns between 2 and 4 sex toys, and about 15 percent of those who have tried sex toys use their toys several times a week.
Whether clitoral, anal or vaginal, you’ll find the right toy for every taste. If your clitoris is your pleasure spot, use a lay-on vibrator or a pressure wave vibrator, for indirect pleasure rushes.
On the other hand, if you’re more into internal stimulation, a G-spot vibrator can take you to the top. For mixed pleasure, it’s the Rabbit vibrator, which stimulates the clitoris and G-spot at the same time. And there’s also a wide selection of anal toys, so you’ll always find a suitable toy for you.
Use lube even during masturbation
You think that lube is only something for old women whose vaginal moisture is no longer produced sufficiently? A big mistake! This exciting study has proven how much more fun sex in any form is when lube is used for it. You can use lube for your sex toys, but also when you stimulate yourself with your fingers.
For sex toys, water-based lubes are ideal because they don’t damage the surface and ensure that your toys glide smoothly and gently over your vulva and other areas. You should also use them during sex with your partner, because the more slippery the feeling, the better the chance of an orgasm.
Just let your fantasies come true
Almost every woman (and man) has sex fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s certainly not forbidden. According to this survey, the most common fantasy is to spend a night of love with two men. However, sex in public, lesbian experiences and visits to swingers clubs are also frequently seen as stimulating fantasies.
Don’t be afraid to let your thoughts and fantasies go, you don’t have to be ashamed of them. If it excites you, you can also read an erotic book and let it stimulate you. Having fantasies is completely normal and they can make it possible for you to become more aware of your desire and perhaps reach orgasm.
Create a safe space
Being comfortable is one of the most important points when masturbating or climaxing. Let yourself go, enjoy the environment and prepare it best for yourself. You don’t like chaos in the bedroom? Clean up like you’re looking forward to a date with yourself. You like soft music? Turn it on, nothing is too much trouble when you’re dating yourself.
When masturbating, you don’t have to go all out and stimulate your vulva right away either. Do you like massaging your hands, rubbing your belly or caressing your cheeks? Whatever it is, it’s perfectly fine. If you manage to get rid of all your reservations and insecurities and give yourself completely to your pleasure, the orgasm will eventually come as a pleasurable accessory.
Conclusion: The orgasm is as changeable as you are.
You can scream during it, you can moan, you can just breathe faster or lie there completely still. Every way of experiencing orgasm is right, because climax is as flexible and individual as you are. It can feel like a rushing stream that sweeps you into the depths, but it can also feel like a gentle summer wind that provides comfort.
No matter what your orgasm is like, how it feels, how you perceive it, and how you respond to it, it is right. Enjoy it and don’t be guided by what you see in movies and hear from others. You are you and your climax is your own personal experience, which belongs to you alone.